Nothing much at all

sdr

 

Nothing much at all

Out on the rotting deck –
in that unrehearsed collection
of half-barrels, steel buckets
and terracotta pots –
all your flowers are surrendering.
Heads crumple like regret,
colours leaching into sepia,
leaves and stems cigarette grey.
Only one hi-vis marigold
proudly refuses to succumb.
It’s nothing much at all,
an asterisk, a subscript
somewhere on another page,
but I feel compelled to mention it,
to spell it out in words,
devote breath to it.
Anything to cast a
stone into the silence,
create the tiniest ripple in
this heavy ocean between us.

 

first published in Soft Cartel, 2018

Eddie’s

dav

Eddie’s

 

From my second storey room

up at Eddie’s I hear the kids

screaming over at the park

across the street, squeezing out

the pulp of the summer holidays.

Through a thin stripe between

the cigar-brown curtains the sky

is darkening, but I can only imagine

the world as puzzled together

from random sounds, peopled by

grown-ups on blood-pressure pills

bumping their tidy cars at twenty

along the ruts of the avenue.

Gulls yack the shore in over

the rooftops. Somewhere near

there will be waves throwing up

the ocean onto a dog-walker’s

beach, waiting like idiots for

the mood to reveal itself.

My bed creaks out a lullaby

on its springs every time I move.

I’d lose my mind if I could only

remember where I’d left it.

 

first published in Stickman Review, 2018

Streetview

Streetview

 

Streetview

 

I stand by the gaping window and

wonder how you do it, just watch

 

madness drive by erratically in its

slow car, round and round.

 

See the children stomping schoolwards

every morning, slumping back, afternoons,

 

as old women and men, heads

too heavy and worn to hold aloft.

 

Garbage scatters like crows quarrelling.

The sun warms the concrete heroically,

 

but no-one feels it. There are an infinite

number of ways for nothing to happen.

 

All of them end in emptiness.

In the evening, there is no darkness,

 

just a curious light laughing at gravity

breaking its laws like ribs, one by one.

 

Death has finally found a home

in your open mouth. It is

 

furnished with stolen goods

found discarded by the roadside.

 

 

first published in Ghost City Review, 2018

Thoughts from an early morning train

Thoughts

 

Thoughts from an early morning train

 

Strange how certain things – whilst falling apart –

take on shapes that almost seem deliberate,

as though planned that way, as though this

were merely a truer angle to see them from.

A reassembly of ideas. A reversal of mirrors.

So you become the terrified hare cowering in

the tractor wheel ruts as the carriage spears by,

not the owner of the jaded eyes witnessing it.

You always have been. You see holes now

where once there were pegs, an illusion of

opportunity created by yourself, by your own

shadow sweeping across the picture as you pass.

 

first published in Across The Margin, 2017

Three poems up at Stickman Review

Anthony Brown, editor of Stickman Review, has been kind enough to include three of my poems – “Driving around town, 2 a.m.”, “Eddie’s” and “In which you are still leaving” – in Volume 17, Number 1, which has just been released online.

Big thanks to Anthony for finding space for these three amongst some very fine poems indeed. I’d particularly recommend checking out David Lohrey’s “Saturday, the 19th or the 20th”.

 

Metro

Danger of death

Metro

 

A life’s script runs abruptly out of lines. No need to worry.

Neither dropped bottle nor platform smash as they collide.

The broken man has drained away in overlapping episodes.

 

A final seizure rattles the jawbones, breaks two teeth,

and the sorry bladderful seeps down the shapeless trousers,

painting its temporary stain across the concrete.

 

Only God hears the silent, glacial cry. This and other things

are and will be over. Turn your head. No need to look.

Life has eaten dignity all away, leaving death to go hungry.

 

With the night’s invasion complete, the men who come

from nowhere will come, scrape up the flaccid corpse,

leaving bottle and platform behind, and disappear back

 

into the unspoken shadows. The collective memory is reset.

No need to dwell. Our Metro is still warm and efficient.

‘Attention,’ says the sober voice. ‘The doors are closing.

 

first published in Here Comes Everyone (Transition Issue), 2016

Overcoat

Overcoat 2

Overcoat

 

It was autumn in my endless year. I was under-ripe,
an empty bucket. So I bought an overcoat belonging to

a dead man. I gave a five pound note to his crushed-up
daughter, and released it from where it was hanging,

all limp and unwanted, in a hidden closet, next to
a woollen suit and a defeated army of collared shirts.

The sweetness of the lining against my shaved neck
offered a first kiss, the stretch of bottle-green cloth

across my unsteady shoulders, an embrace, of sorts.
Wearing it with black shoes punched with silver buckles,

and a shirt whose tight cuffs never quite stopped making
my wrists itch (though I was glad of the distraction),

I toyed with a bashfulness easily mistaken for arrogance,
took the first, tiny steps in a long, unmapped journey.

 

first published in Bluepepper, 2017

All breakages must be paid for

Shoes

All breakages must be paid for

 

Too much shiny cloth gathered
between the trouser legs and
around the ankles of the
inevitably off-the-peg suit.
Too much product on too little hair.
Asked to stand a step higher
by the serious photographer,
he clings on to his bride,
half like she’s a chainsaw
in the poorly co-ordinated clutches
of a novice, half like she’s
something unimaginably fragile,
and no amount of tenderness
will prevent her future destruction.

 

first published in Love & Ensuing Madness, Rat’s Ass Review, 2016